X Chronicle 1
by musicchic879
Summary: First X Chronicle, these stories put X characters into tv shows such as Desperate Housewives or Teletubbies. This first one is when X characters are in the show LOST.


_A/N: Here's my first X Chronicle published in FanFiction! Enjoy!_

**Lost**

Help! Help! The screams were coming from the plane wreckage.

Dr. Subaru (Jack): I'm coming!

Karen (pregger chick Claire): I think I'm having contractions.

Dr. Subaru: How far apart?

Karen: The nearest Subway is 10 miles away.

Dr. Subaru: What?

Karen: I'm hungry; Im having contractions. Do we have any peanuts?

Dr. Subaru: I think u mean cravings. You're having cravings.

Karen: I guess. I'm also craving a cigarrette. You got a lighter, Doc.

Dr. Subaru: No, but I should go help the other passengers.

* * *

On the other side of the island...

Kamui (Charlie the drug user): Does anyone know where a back alley can be found on this island? I need my drugs.

Sorata (Asian guy Jin): doejifohjeijfoiejie (Are you okay?)

Kamui: Sorry dude don't speak gangsta? Do you sell hashish?

Sorata: djoejiedjoije (You are very weird.)

Kamui: I guess that's a no...

Yuzu (Walt or Walta in girl from): Pocky? Have you seen my pocky?

Kamui: Is that some Asian drug?

Yuzu: What is a drug?

Kamui: Give me your pocky, and I'll show you.

* * *

As they go off into the jungle...

Yuzu: Here's my pocky.

Kamui: Okay, hand it over.

Yuzu: Here you go.

Kamui: (Snorts the pocky) Dude wtf...this smells like strawberry. What type of drug is this?

Yuzu: Pocky?

Kamui: But, it does give you a nice high.

Kusangi (Ethan or aka: one of the others): Hand me the kid. I mean the pretty looking girl.

Kamui: Like whoa...the trees are pink.

Yuzu: Ahhh help me. (Yuzu is now kidnapped by a other)

Kamui; Crap, I'm out of pocky. Oh no wheres Walta? Crap, again, I lost the kid.

* * *

Back with Dr. Subaru...

Dr. Subaru stumbles upon two people making love.

Dr. Subaru: Like whoa, we just crashed, and you two are doin it.

Fuuma (Boone brother of Shannon): Like totally. I love my sister.

Dr. Subaru: Eww...and huh?

Kotori (Shannon brother of Boone): That's right...(giggles)...I love my brother.

Dr. Subaru: You guys are sick. If one of you dies, I call the dude.

Fuuma: (Winks)

* * *

At the wreckage...wheelchair races are being held.

Crowds: Come on! I have my money on the bald one.

Kakyo (Locke aka wheelchair/bald weird dude): Who you callin bald? (Touches his head) Ahhhh! My beautiful/Pantene Pro-v locks of hair! Nooooooooo!

Nataku (Sayid the terrorist): I heard a scream! It reminded me of my old days back in Iraq.

Kakyo: (Spinning around his wheelchair) My hair, My hair! I think this is a sign. Does this island want me to be bald?

Nataku: Hey, Ive gone through your problem before. Try using x-gain. That's how I got my shiney curls.

Kakyo: Thank-you.

Hinoto (Hurley the one who eats a lot): Move out of my way; I'm looking for the peanuts! (Accidentally knocks over Kakyo and his wheelchair)

Kakyo: I can walk! The island wants me to walk! (Falls) Crap! What type of island is this?

* * *

Now let's check on Walta's father...

Mr. Aoki (Michael the father of Walt): Have you seen my kid?

Arashi (Sun the wife of Jin aka Sorata): Me no kid.

Mr. Aoki: That's great. You have no kids. But, have you seen mine.

Arashi: No kid.

Mr. Aoki: I understand that you don't have children.

Arashi: No, me no eye kid.

Mr. Aoki: So now your playing with my emotions!

Sorata: doijeoijjdjie (What's going on?)

Arashi: odijoieiofe (Have you seen his kid?)

Sorata: djoejijedrugdoei (Drug abuser took the kid.)

Arashi: Drug abuser

Mr. Aoki: I'm not a drug abuser, and neither is my kid. I think you two have been sniffin a little too much eucalyptes.

Karen: They're saying that ur kid went of with a drug abuser Charlie.

Mr. Aoki: Thank-you. What's ur fine name?

Karen: Claire or you can call me Karen.

Mr. Aoki: I think these two Asians farted here so let's get out of here.

Karen: Whoa that cheesy line was so romantic.

Mr. Aoki: What do you do for a living?

Karen: I sell sex. That's how I got preg.

Mr. Aoki: What a touching story?

Karen: I feel like we've connected.

Mr. Aoki: Me too.

Karen: Wanna be my daddy's baby?

Mr. Aoki: Sure, but I have a family back in Japan.

Karen: So...

Mr. Aoki: True, screw them.

* * *

A stange woman walks up to Michael (Mr. Aoki) and Claire (Karen)...

Kanoe (French chic Rosseau...dresses sleazy): Hey, your kid is with the others. How about you follow me?

Mr. Aoki: All right. Come on K-laire.

Karen: Okay.

Kanoe: Srry but preg chics aren't allowed.

Karen: You wanna bring it.

Kanoe: Michael, plez tell ur whore that you would rather be with me. Remember we met earlier. I saved you from that hungry transvestite, Hinoto I think is the name.

Karen: Excuse me, you Amazon woman, but look who's looking sluty. I'm the only whore on this island.

Mr. Aoki: Ladies, ladies...K-laire, I care for you, plus I said I would care for your kid. R-k-osseau, thanks for saving me from that ugly ape/she/he/man. Rock, paper, scissors will tell who I'm mean't to be with.

As they play...

Kanoe: Rock

Karen: Paper

Kanoe: You beat me. Darn. I guess this island does not want me to be with you Aichael.

Mr. Aoki: Let's go find whatever my kid's name is.

* * *

In the jungle...

Mr. Aoki: Child!

Yuzu: Father!

Karen: Step-daughter!

Yuzu: What?

Mr. Aoki: Y-alta, this is your new mom K-laire.

Yuzu: This is why I ran away. You can't bring home prostitues so that they can be my mom. Plus, I'm in love with E-usangi. Sure, he's older and lives in the jungle. But, I love him. So does my dog wherever he is.

Mr. Aoki: Fine, but I guess your little brother/sister won't have a sibling.

Karen: What a shame.

Yuzu: Yeah, we'll see! odjeojeoijejfejfioejfe (Curse that the others will take the baby.)

Karen: No, don't take my baby! You have to pay the right price for it.

Yuzu: You understand Korean!

Karen: Like totally! Anayasayo.

Yuzu: You might not be such a bad mom, but still I love E-usangi. We enjoy pocky and other things!

Mr. Aoki: Fine, see you later.

Yuzu: Bye! (Waves like Amy i mean waves like those hyper Asian girls)

* * *

Back at the ocean...

Hokuto (Kate the robber): Who ate all the food?

Hinoto: Why is everyone looking at me? (eats a peanut)

Seishirou (Sawyer the dude with blonde hair and weird past, sort of evil): I'll give you some food, freckles.

Hinoto: Thanks, I'm starving.

Seishirou: Not you, you fatty.

Hinoto: Hurlina get angry! Hurlina get mad! Hurlina turns green! (Shreds clothing)

Seishirou: It's king kong/hulk. It's going after freckles!

Hokuto: Help!

Dr. Subaru: Here you hungry beast; it's a hungry-man frozen dinner entree with ribs!

Hinoto: Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Seishirou: Thank goodness I traded you that frozen meal for some stitches.

Dr. Subaru: Next time be safe with a hungry woman like that.

Hokuto: My heroes!

Dr. Subaru: Say did a bomb just explode?

Hokuto: Why?

Dr. Subaru: Because you're the bomb-diggity!

Seishirou: Yeah, I got a better one. I may not be Elmo, but you can tickle me any time.

Hokuto: Wow, two guys like me.

Dr. Subaru: So who has the better pick-up line, me or ugly.

Kakyo: Hey you guys I just found out who stole all the food.

Dr. Subaru: Who?

Kakyo: It's Hok...

Hokuto: Hey K-ocke, let's have a talk. (Drag Locke off and kills him) So about my decision boys...I've decided...

Seishirou: Wait, we have something to tell you.

Hokuto: What?

Dr. Subaru: Seishirou and I have decided that we don't need you Hokuto. All we need is each other, right babe.

Seishirou: Right.

Dr. Subaru: Let's go run off into the sunset!

Seishirou: Yipee, then we can have a smoke under the cherry blossoms.

Hokuto: Great, now I stole all the food for nothing.

* * *

At night...

Dr. Subaru: Did you hear that Seishirou? That noise sounds like a monster.

Seishirou: I can only hear your sweet angelic voice.

Screams come from the beach...

Dr. Subaru: What's wrong?

Hinoto: There's vegetables in my hungry-man entree.

Dr. Subaru: Is that it?

Hinoto: Also there's a dead body over there.

Nataku: It looks like an other. What's your name?

Yuto: My name is Captain Salty or Yuto. I have a hareim of girls such as the one on my tarot card, but that's a different story.

Dr. Subaru: What happened to you?

Yuto: A beast attacked me!

Dr. Subaru: Sayid, take Captain Salty into a tent.

Kamui: What's going on? I was snortin then I heard a scream.

Dr. Subaru: It came from the jungle.

Satsuki: My machine the beast will conquer this island then the world! But first, it's hungry!

Kamui: I hear a girl's voice in that big computer thing. So, is it a girl or guy.

Sayid: I know let's feed Hurlina to it.

Satsuki: Beast doesn't like fatty foods. Give too much calories.

Sayid: I've blown things up before but this thing is huge.

(Everyone on the island throws Hinoto at beast, and beast swallows her/him)

Beast: Too much fat and bed sores! Heart attack!

Satsuki: Noooo my creation!

(Anime characters pop out)

Dr. Subaru: You guys are the others.

Sakura: We would have gotten away if it weren't for you meddlin kids.

Naruto: Yeah.

Dr. Subaru: Now what we do...

Seishirou: Let's populate the island.

Kamui: Dude, where are we?

Sorata: jdojicojejefj (Japan)


End file.
